My Dirty Secret

Time to come clean: I lied to you. My name isn’t Faustin Gabriel; nor am I in any way English. I made that all up. Sorry. My real name is Gabriel (so at least part of it was true-ish) and I’m from Germany. — Got you!

Why would I choose a pen name? Glad that you asked. As it turns out, my real last name is so difficult to spell and pronounce that my parents even officially changed it. So I decided not to go with it.

Fortunately, there was this 19th Century Czech guy in my (very distant) family who also liked to write under a different name – Faustin, to be exact. So, I decided to keep that tradition alive. And that’s how Faustin Gabriel was born. Or created. Or baptised. You get it.

Some Little Facts About Me

TL;DR: I’m a great person with a charming personality, amazing wit, and enough adorable flaws to balance everything out. (At least, that’s what I tell myself.)

At the time of writing this, I’m 24 years old and struggling through my quarter-life crisis. — I know what you’re thinking: Who’s that guy? And why does he think he’ll live to the ripe age of 96? Let me tell you.

I’m a regular human being. Sort of. I spend my day working, cooking, hanging out with friends – you name it. I’m always passionate about one thing or other. I love discussing – really discussing – books, poems, movies and how they were made. I love linguistics. I love learning new things. Present your best facts to me. I’ll be grateful.

Right now, I’m working as a copywriter by day, and a screenwriter/novelist by, well, the rest of the day. I’ve thought about adding vigilante crimefighter by night. But, meh, it’s not worth the hustle of having to work out.

If I were ice cream, I’d be stracciatella.
If I were a pizza topping, I’d be mushrooms.
If you were to read and comment on some of my posts, I’d be happy.

To make your reading (and my writing) experience a little easier, I’ll do the rest in list format. Enjoy. (Oh, and by the way: If you’re a handsome multi-billionaire who just can’t resist what I’ve written here – hit me up, and we can redistribute your wealth to the people who need it! ;))

Books I Wish I’d Written

• Chocolat (Joanne Harris)
• Before the Feast (Saša Stanišić)
• Habibi (Craig Thompson)
• Endless Night (Agatha Christie)
• A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseini)
• Beloved (Toni Morrison)
• Israel Rank (Roy Horniman)

Films I Wish I’d Written

• Mean Girls
• Scott Pilgrim vs The World
• Stilyagi
• The Favourite
• Das schönste Mädchen der Welt
• Hail, Caesar!
• Wer früher stirbt, ist länger tot

TV-Shows I Wish I’d Written

• Murder She Wrote
• Desperate Housewives
• Buffy. The Vampire Slayer
• One Day at a Time
• A Series of Unfortunate Events
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine
• Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

Songs I Could Listen to All Day

• Don’t Turn Around (Bonnie Tyler)
• Swan (WILLA)
• Black Sheep (Gin Wigmore)
• Naturträne (Nina Hagen)
• Our Time (Stephen Sondheim)
• Am Strand (Farin Urlaub)
• Haus brennt (Käptn Peng)

People I Wish I Could Meet

• Stephen Sondheim
• Lord Byron
• Shonda Rhimes
• Jinkx Monsoon
• Sandi Toksvig
• Joe Lycett
• Sally Phillips
• James Acaster

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